Straight White Boys Texting (Me)

Foreword:
So, if you haven't heard of this phenomenon as of yet....I'll just give you the quick summary (and links down in the Reflection).  Straight white boys(/men) will take a conversation from "Hello" to sexual in the blink of an eye.  Often times under the ruse of some fun and whimsical game like 20 Questions.  So I went back through a bunch of messages I've gotten to give you the best of what I have received, not just the guys who say "Hey, you look hot, want to bone?" but rather the ones who put a little extra stank on it.  Some are screen shots but one is me paraphrasing since I don't have that particular online dating account anymore and refuse to re-activate it. Enjoy.  -S

Meat & Potatoes:
WB:  You seem attractive and not crazy, want to chat?
Me:  Well, aren't you formal!  Sure, why not.  What's up?
WB:  Not much, just relaxing.  What are you up to?
Me:  Working on some stuff, on a beautiful Saturday.  I'm lame.
WB:  Nice!  Do you text?
Me:  Uhm, I obviously have a smartphone because I'm on Tinder...and this is basically what we are doing now.
WB:  Cool.  Give me your number and I'll send you some dick pics.
Me:  Yeah, I'll be honest, dicks aren't pretty to look at.  You just want boobs in return.  Gotta bring your A-game with me.  Get creative buddy.
WB:  Fine, I will put a top hat to match my formal opening.
Me:  Now, THAT is an offer.  Still, no thanks.

Then there was THIS guy.....who would talk to me in a normal capacity for days then get drunk and try so very awkwardly to get me to come over.  Eventually he just stopped messaging me all together.

 

Reflection:
There's really nothing to say other than gold stars for effort, but no dice for any of them.  It appears that I seem to attract more creative Straight White Boys....good to know people bring their C+ game with me. - S

More Straight White Boy Texts info for your meme amusement:
http://cheezburger.com/270085

http://www.dailydot.com/lifestyle/straight-white-boys-texting-tumblr/

http://straightwhiteboystexting.tumblr.com/

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/why-straight-white-boys-are-the-worst

http://www.reddit.com/search?q=white+boy+texting