Foreword:
As a self proclaimed nerd girl, I do occasionally attend a comic con or expo. At these events there usually is Sci Fi Speed Dating, which is just like regular speed dating but with all the daters being con goers. Selecting the dating pool from a con full of nerds, can be exactly what you think it would...very sketchy. Today I'll tell you about the first time I participated in one. The people I ran into and what resulted from our exchange of contact info. - S
Background Info and Definitions:
Comic Con or Con: Personally, I define it as a big organized gathering where people pay to enter and interact with artists, entertainers, vendors and people with varying levels of influence in nerdy genres. This can include comics, tv, movies, games, music, cosplay, and various other pop culture items. People who attend these kinds of things are deemed "nerds" or "geeks" automatically as the main theme is quite frequently comic books. Other stereotypes are that everyone who attends is fat, ugly, unemployed, lives in their parents basement, socially awkward and well...you get the idea. If you are interested in other definition variations you can direct yourself to Urban Dictionary.
Speed Dating: Single males and females come together in a large group to speak with multiple people in 3 minute increments, or 3 minute "dates". After the 3 minutes are over the man moves on to the next female and the date starts over with a new victim. Everyone is assigned a number, rather than giving their name, and takes notes to remind them which people they want to potentially speak with again/exchange contact info with. When everyone has returned to their original first 'date' the speed dating is over. People then mark down on a piece of paper which people they want to give their contact information, and turn in the paper to the organizer. The organizers then match up who was interested and send that info off via email within the next few days.
There are variations on the above info. Some speed dating setups are that you just write your number/name and info on a sheet that will be directly given to the person it belongs to. Some companies tell you only to write down the number of people you're interested in. The age ranges can vary from the specific to the very broad, the location, LGBT friendly, and even the themes or interest areas also can be different. For the Sci Fi Speed Dating ones it's just restricted to men and women who are attending a con, and sign up. There can be a LGBT session as well depending on the size of the con and the amount of people who sign up.
Con Hotness Bonus Points: In short you get 1-2 bonus points on the 1-10 generic social hotness scale where 10 is high and 1 is low, just for being a female at a con. So personally, I rank myself as about a 5-6 on any given day based on whether or not I've actually put any effort in. Once I walk into a con, I automatically get at least 1 bonus hotness point. Here is where things get interesting, depending on the specific geek observing/rating you, there can be additional hotness points added. If a girl is really into something that the guy really loves, then she can get even more points. This is however subjective, and like all ratings can be completely different for everyone, but is meant as just a general rule of thumb.
All right, now that we have the boring stuff out of the way, on to the experience itself.
Meat & Potatoes:
So I'm at a small Comic Expo hanging out with some people from a publication I work for and just enjoying the experience. That was my first "Con" of any kind, so I was taking in the people in costumes, everyone geeking out about people I have never heard of before. Oh, did I mention that I'm not really a comic book person? I read some specific ones, but I don't have the vast knowledge base of pretty much anyone you can think of personal or otherwise. Mostly I do small batch comic reviews when I do them.
Anyway, they had two speed dating sessions set up and I had agreed to go to one of them for an article. The organizer was aware but I did my thing incognito so that I didn't mess anything up. Plus, I lived far enough away from the con I was attending that dating anyone was pretty much out of the question. So, when I showed up to the event there were about 30 people all together. The women went into the room first, and we were given a breakdown of the rules. The guys waited in a different area for things to start. As we girls were sitting around waiting for it to start we all started talking. One girl, we'll call her Amanda, said that she was especially nervous because she gets so shy around guys that she just clams up. She doesn't even have guy friends it is so bad. I talk to strangers basically as a hobby (the writing in general and online dating kind of is similar) that I asked her if she wanted a few questions to ask the guys as backup in case she freezes. Amanda was all for that so I found an old receipt in my purse and wrote down 5 generic questions.
There were other girls there who were nervous but by the time I helped out Amanda I didn't have time to talk to the others for more than a second. Once the guys entered, we all got reminded of the rules and the speed dating began. No one was especially creepy looking or anything, so that being my main worry I decided that this might be fun. Although there were quite a few guys who I talked to, only a few stuck in my memory. I'll list each of our interactions below and what became of them. I think that I got like 4 or 5 emails/numbers, which is pretty par for the course. Even with the 'con hotness bonus points' I still tend to scare guys away with my sense of humor and personality. I'm just talented like that :-)
Balding w/a pony tail: I'll be honest, looks wise I was one of the better looking women at this event. When the guys were allowed to find a seat, this one guy in particular made a beeline straight for my chair. He beat out I think two guys? Anyway, he looked like your stereotypical balding geek with pasty white skin and light blonde long ponytail that came at least to the middle of his back. He was fine to talk to but non memorable at all. I did appreciate the compliment though of him walking fast to beat out the other guys, but I just wasn't feeling it. Seriously, I can't remember a thing we talked about. I just remember thinking...."I wish that I had a pair of scissors right now so I could solve that hair situation. I wonder if it would be considered assault if I just walked up and cut the pony tail in one snip....I wish I knew a cop to answer these things for me. I could use my phone, but that would be rude. Oh shit, what did he just ask me....".
Black Guy: The most normal of the guys there had to be this black guy I talked to. I was wearing a Pac-Man tshirt and he talked with me about video games. I know enough to keep up a conversation. He was the most comfortable person there by far. He was really cool, funny, and not bad looking either. I was really surprised when he picked me at the end. However, he lived over 2 hours away and things fizzled off as usual pretty quickly.
Who Wears Short Shorts: There was a man there in a bright pink wig, leather sailor hat, white tank top, really short cut offs, and platform red heels. When asked if he was just cosplaying, bisexual, or gay. It was a specific character he was dressed as, but I didn't recognize it so I forgot it. I asked him if he was really interested in women and he said "Oh honey, I'm try-sexual, I'll try anything once." Which is something I've heard a lot before, but I enjoyed that he was being so cool about things. So I asked him about what he did when he wasn't cosplaying. He immediately dropped down to a normal voice register and said "I actually am a professional video game tester, I do a podcast and a few other things." He then immediately went back into character and said that he had a few other ladies he dresses as and that's when the time was up. I ended up picking him later to be friends. We emailed back and forth a few times, but eventually we realized that we had nothing really to talk about and it fizzled out. He was fabulous though and I enjoyed every moment of our brief friendship.
Minute (And A Half) Man: This one guy sat down and we said hello and he just started into his spiel. Hi I'm John and I work in tech I am 24 years old I love video games and zombies including The Walking Dead Comics I also love to cook and travel I went to Montreal on my last vacation with some of my best guy friends I also like to read Sci Fi and Fantasy books whenever I have the chance I like rock music and I have a dog named Barkley. After he stopped I looked at my watch and I was pretty sure he had exactly hit the minute and a half mark. My only conclusion was that he stood in the mirror and practiced this for hours trying to get it all down. I imagine that it was because he (like the girl I talked to previously) got really nervous around the opposite sex. As this all very quickly ran through my mind I realized it was my turn. I said "Oh, shit! My turn!" Then I tried to remember everything that he mentioned so I could counterpart. I ran out of time of course. When it was done, he stood up formally shook my hand and left. It was endearing in a bizarre way, but I still didn't find him attractive. So oh well. Moving on.
Quailman: There was a guy who had a giant red Q on a green shirt. So of course when I asked him "Are you Quailman?" He said yes, but he had taken off all the other parts of the outfit. I told him that it was shameful to give up like that. At the very least he should have left the underwear over top of his shorts. He laughed and agreed and we continued our chat. He actually lived in the same city as I do and was just at this Con visiting friends and having fun. I didn't find him attractive either, but very funny, so I left my number for him. He did not leave his for me and I didn't realize this until later. As soon as the session was done I caught a group of people in outfits so I was taking photos. Quailman happened to be there, and waited awkwardly while I worked and then got pissed off and went away when I took too long. I had waved at him while I was doing things and smiled. Honestly, I was very turned off when he huffed away. Later on I saw him in the crowd and I tried to walk over to him. He got super awkward and pretty much did an about face to run away. Now I know why you're single dude. Grow up.
Yo Teach!: The last (but not least) person that I remember from this particular dating experience is a guy who is a teacher. He was absolutely hysterically funny, we got along great and managed to maintain a friendship to this very day. He lives in the city that the Con was in and whenever I am there for work or whatnot we try to hang out or grab a drink. On Facebook he posts these hilarious things that happen with his son and adorable photos of the kid. Having kids is a deal breaker for me, but I do enjoy when people share the funny stuff regarding their munchkins. Regardless, it has been a friendly thing from the get go, so there was never any of that awkward conversation stuff that needed to happen. Positives all around! Gold star for you buddy :-D
Reflection:
Prior to this event, I had never been speed dating at all and overall it wasn't a horrible experience. Dealing with socially awkward guys is pretty much my entire wheelhouse so I wasn't worried at all. Plus, like I said, I basically talk to strangers for a hobby. I was a bit concerned about the girl who I ended up giving the written questions to and luckily I ran into her before I left. She told me that she didn't even need them and that the conversation just flowed naturally. She thought that my giving her a backup plan helped and she even got some numbers. I was so proud of her! Unfortunately, she didn't take notes on all of the guys but luckily I did so I told her which ones were interested in her. One of which, she was really excited about. Oh yeah, putting TWO good deeds in the Karma Bank. Good thing too, because I am always in need of things to even out my sassy mouth :-D Overall, I felt it was a good enough experience for me to do it again. No one was super creepy and I had a lot of fun. Usually I walk away with a number or two, so that's nice. I will tell the other stories from speed dating both regular and Sci Fi later on. So you have that to look forward to. YAY!
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