Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Sci Fi Speed Dating: A Repeat Offender's First Impressions
Foreword:
As a self proclaimed nerd girl, I do occasionally attend a comic con or expo. At these events there usually is Sci Fi Speed Dating, which is just like regular speed dating but with all the daters being con goers. Selecting the dating pool from a con full of nerds, can be exactly what you think it would...very sketchy. Today I'll tell you about the first time I participated in one. The people I ran into and what resulted from our exchange of contact info. - S
Background Info and Definitions:
Comic Con or Con: Personally, I define it as a big organized gathering where people pay to enter and interact with artists, entertainers, vendors and people with varying levels of influence in nerdy genres. This can include comics, tv, movies, games, music, cosplay, and various other pop culture items. People who attend these kinds of things are deemed "nerds" or "geeks" automatically as the main theme is quite frequently comic books. Other stereotypes are that everyone who attends is fat, ugly, unemployed, lives in their parents basement, socially awkward and well...you get the idea. If you are interested in other definition variations you can direct yourself to Urban Dictionary.
Speed Dating: Single males and females come together in a large group to speak with multiple people in 3 minute increments, or 3 minute "dates". After the 3 minutes are over the man moves on to the next female and the date starts over with a new victim. Everyone is assigned a number, rather than giving their name, and takes notes to remind them which people they want to potentially speak with again/exchange contact info with. When everyone has returned to their original first 'date' the speed dating is over. People then mark down on a piece of paper which people they want to give their contact information, and turn in the paper to the organizer. The organizers then match up who was interested and send that info off via email within the next few days.
There are variations on the above info. Some speed dating setups are that you just write your number/name and info on a sheet that will be directly given to the person it belongs to. Some companies tell you only to write down the number of people you're interested in. The age ranges can vary from the specific to the very broad, the location, LGBT friendly, and even the themes or interest areas also can be different. For the Sci Fi Speed Dating ones it's just restricted to men and women who are attending a con, and sign up. There can be a LGBT session as well depending on the size of the con and the amount of people who sign up.
Con Hotness Bonus Points: In short you get 1-2 bonus points on the 1-10 generic social hotness scale where 10 is high and 1 is low, just for being a female at a con. So personally, I rank myself as about a 5-6 on any given day based on whether or not I've actually put any effort in. Once I walk into a con, I automatically get at least 1 bonus hotness point. Here is where things get interesting, depending on the specific geek observing/rating you, there can be additional hotness points added. If a girl is really into something that the guy really loves, then she can get even more points. This is however subjective, and like all ratings can be completely different for everyone, but is meant as just a general rule of thumb.
All right, now that we have the boring stuff out of the way, on to the experience itself.
Meat & Potatoes:
So I'm at a small Comic Expo hanging out with some people from a publication I work for and just enjoying the experience. That was my first "Con" of any kind, so I was taking in the people in costumes, everyone geeking out about people I have never heard of before. Oh, did I mention that I'm not really a comic book person? I read some specific ones, but I don't have the vast knowledge base of pretty much anyone you can think of personal or otherwise. Mostly I do small batch comic reviews when I do them.
Anyway, they had two speed dating sessions set up and I had agreed to go to one of them for an article. The organizer was aware but I did my thing incognito so that I didn't mess anything up. Plus, I lived far enough away from the con I was attending that dating anyone was pretty much out of the question. So, when I showed up to the event there were about 30 people all together. The women went into the room first, and we were given a breakdown of the rules. The guys waited in a different area for things to start. As we girls were sitting around waiting for it to start we all started talking. One girl, we'll call her Amanda, said that she was especially nervous because she gets so shy around guys that she just clams up. She doesn't even have guy friends it is so bad. I talk to strangers basically as a hobby (the writing in general and online dating kind of is similar) that I asked her if she wanted a few questions to ask the guys as backup in case she freezes. Amanda was all for that so I found an old receipt in my purse and wrote down 5 generic questions.
There were other girls there who were nervous but by the time I helped out Amanda I didn't have time to talk to the others for more than a second. Once the guys entered, we all got reminded of the rules and the speed dating began. No one was especially creepy looking or anything, so that being my main worry I decided that this might be fun. Although there were quite a few guys who I talked to, only a few stuck in my memory. I'll list each of our interactions below and what became of them. I think that I got like 4 or 5 emails/numbers, which is pretty par for the course. Even with the 'con hotness bonus points' I still tend to scare guys away with my sense of humor and personality. I'm just talented like that :-)
Balding w/a pony tail: I'll be honest, looks wise I was one of the better looking women at this event. When the guys were allowed to find a seat, this one guy in particular made a beeline straight for my chair. He beat out I think two guys? Anyway, he looked like your stereotypical balding geek with pasty white skin and light blonde long ponytail that came at least to the middle of his back. He was fine to talk to but non memorable at all. I did appreciate the compliment though of him walking fast to beat out the other guys, but I just wasn't feeling it. Seriously, I can't remember a thing we talked about. I just remember thinking...."I wish that I had a pair of scissors right now so I could solve that hair situation. I wonder if it would be considered assault if I just walked up and cut the pony tail in one snip....I wish I knew a cop to answer these things for me. I could use my phone, but that would be rude. Oh shit, what did he just ask me....".
Black Guy: The most normal of the guys there had to be this black guy I talked to. I was wearing a Pac-Man tshirt and he talked with me about video games. I know enough to keep up a conversation. He was the most comfortable person there by far. He was really cool, funny, and not bad looking either. I was really surprised when he picked me at the end. However, he lived over 2 hours away and things fizzled off as usual pretty quickly.
Who Wears Short Shorts: There was a man there in a bright pink wig, leather sailor hat, white tank top, really short cut offs, and platform red heels. When asked if he was just cosplaying, bisexual, or gay. It was a specific character he was dressed as, but I didn't recognize it so I forgot it. I asked him if he was really interested in women and he said "Oh honey, I'm try-sexual, I'll try anything once." Which is something I've heard a lot before, but I enjoyed that he was being so cool about things. So I asked him about what he did when he wasn't cosplaying. He immediately dropped down to a normal voice register and said "I actually am a professional video game tester, I do a podcast and a few other things." He then immediately went back into character and said that he had a few other ladies he dresses as and that's when the time was up. I ended up picking him later to be friends. We emailed back and forth a few times, but eventually we realized that we had nothing really to talk about and it fizzled out. He was fabulous though and I enjoyed every moment of our brief friendship.
Minute (And A Half) Man: This one guy sat down and we said hello and he just started into his spiel. Hi I'm John and I work in tech I am 24 years old I love video games and zombies including The Walking Dead Comics I also love to cook and travel I went to Montreal on my last vacation with some of my best guy friends I also like to read Sci Fi and Fantasy books whenever I have the chance I like rock music and I have a dog named Barkley. After he stopped I looked at my watch and I was pretty sure he had exactly hit the minute and a half mark. My only conclusion was that he stood in the mirror and practiced this for hours trying to get it all down. I imagine that it was because he (like the girl I talked to previously) got really nervous around the opposite sex. As this all very quickly ran through my mind I realized it was my turn. I said "Oh, shit! My turn!" Then I tried to remember everything that he mentioned so I could counterpart. I ran out of time of course. When it was done, he stood up formally shook my hand and left. It was endearing in a bizarre way, but I still didn't find him attractive. So oh well. Moving on.
Quailman: There was a guy who had a giant red Q on a green shirt. So of course when I asked him "Are you Quailman?" He said yes, but he had taken off all the other parts of the outfit. I told him that it was shameful to give up like that. At the very least he should have left the underwear over top of his shorts. He laughed and agreed and we continued our chat. He actually lived in the same city as I do and was just at this Con visiting friends and having fun. I didn't find him attractive either, but very funny, so I left my number for him. He did not leave his for me and I didn't realize this until later. As soon as the session was done I caught a group of people in outfits so I was taking photos. Quailman happened to be there, and waited awkwardly while I worked and then got pissed off and went away when I took too long. I had waved at him while I was doing things and smiled. Honestly, I was very turned off when he huffed away. Later on I saw him in the crowd and I tried to walk over to him. He got super awkward and pretty much did an about face to run away. Now I know why you're single dude. Grow up.
Yo Teach!: The last (but not least) person that I remember from this particular dating experience is a guy who is a teacher. He was absolutely hysterically funny, we got along great and managed to maintain a friendship to this very day. He lives in the city that the Con was in and whenever I am there for work or whatnot we try to hang out or grab a drink. On Facebook he posts these hilarious things that happen with his son and adorable photos of the kid. Having kids is a deal breaker for me, but I do enjoy when people share the funny stuff regarding their munchkins. Regardless, it has been a friendly thing from the get go, so there was never any of that awkward conversation stuff that needed to happen. Positives all around! Gold star for you buddy :-D
Reflection:
Prior to this event, I had never been speed dating at all and overall it wasn't a horrible experience. Dealing with socially awkward guys is pretty much my entire wheelhouse so I wasn't worried at all. Plus, like I said, I basically talk to strangers for a hobby. I was a bit concerned about the girl who I ended up giving the written questions to and luckily I ran into her before I left. She told me that she didn't even need them and that the conversation just flowed naturally. She thought that my giving her a backup plan helped and she even got some numbers. I was so proud of her! Unfortunately, she didn't take notes on all of the guys but luckily I did so I told her which ones were interested in her. One of which, she was really excited about. Oh yeah, putting TWO good deeds in the Karma Bank. Good thing too, because I am always in need of things to even out my sassy mouth :-D Overall, I felt it was a good enough experience for me to do it again. No one was super creepy and I had a lot of fun. Usually I walk away with a number or two, so that's nice. I will tell the other stories from speed dating both regular and Sci Fi later on. So you have that to look forward to. YAY!
As a self proclaimed nerd girl, I do occasionally attend a comic con or expo. At these events there usually is Sci Fi Speed Dating, which is just like regular speed dating but with all the daters being con goers. Selecting the dating pool from a con full of nerds, can be exactly what you think it would...very sketchy. Today I'll tell you about the first time I participated in one. The people I ran into and what resulted from our exchange of contact info. - S
Background Info and Definitions:
Comic Con or Con: Personally, I define it as a big organized gathering where people pay to enter and interact with artists, entertainers, vendors and people with varying levels of influence in nerdy genres. This can include comics, tv, movies, games, music, cosplay, and various other pop culture items. People who attend these kinds of things are deemed "nerds" or "geeks" automatically as the main theme is quite frequently comic books. Other stereotypes are that everyone who attends is fat, ugly, unemployed, lives in their parents basement, socially awkward and well...you get the idea. If you are interested in other definition variations you can direct yourself to Urban Dictionary.
Speed Dating: Single males and females come together in a large group to speak with multiple people in 3 minute increments, or 3 minute "dates". After the 3 minutes are over the man moves on to the next female and the date starts over with a new victim. Everyone is assigned a number, rather than giving their name, and takes notes to remind them which people they want to potentially speak with again/exchange contact info with. When everyone has returned to their original first 'date' the speed dating is over. People then mark down on a piece of paper which people they want to give their contact information, and turn in the paper to the organizer. The organizers then match up who was interested and send that info off via email within the next few days.
There are variations on the above info. Some speed dating setups are that you just write your number/name and info on a sheet that will be directly given to the person it belongs to. Some companies tell you only to write down the number of people you're interested in. The age ranges can vary from the specific to the very broad, the location, LGBT friendly, and even the themes or interest areas also can be different. For the Sci Fi Speed Dating ones it's just restricted to men and women who are attending a con, and sign up. There can be a LGBT session as well depending on the size of the con and the amount of people who sign up.
Con Hotness Bonus Points: In short you get 1-2 bonus points on the 1-10 generic social hotness scale where 10 is high and 1 is low, just for being a female at a con. So personally, I rank myself as about a 5-6 on any given day based on whether or not I've actually put any effort in. Once I walk into a con, I automatically get at least 1 bonus hotness point. Here is where things get interesting, depending on the specific geek observing/rating you, there can be additional hotness points added. If a girl is really into something that the guy really loves, then she can get even more points. This is however subjective, and like all ratings can be completely different for everyone, but is meant as just a general rule of thumb.
All right, now that we have the boring stuff out of the way, on to the experience itself.
Meat & Potatoes:
So I'm at a small Comic Expo hanging out with some people from a publication I work for and just enjoying the experience. That was my first "Con" of any kind, so I was taking in the people in costumes, everyone geeking out about people I have never heard of before. Oh, did I mention that I'm not really a comic book person? I read some specific ones, but I don't have the vast knowledge base of pretty much anyone you can think of personal or otherwise. Mostly I do small batch comic reviews when I do them.
Anyway, they had two speed dating sessions set up and I had agreed to go to one of them for an article. The organizer was aware but I did my thing incognito so that I didn't mess anything up. Plus, I lived far enough away from the con I was attending that dating anyone was pretty much out of the question. So, when I showed up to the event there were about 30 people all together. The women went into the room first, and we were given a breakdown of the rules. The guys waited in a different area for things to start. As we girls were sitting around waiting for it to start we all started talking. One girl, we'll call her Amanda, said that she was especially nervous because she gets so shy around guys that she just clams up. She doesn't even have guy friends it is so bad. I talk to strangers basically as a hobby (the writing in general and online dating kind of is similar) that I asked her if she wanted a few questions to ask the guys as backup in case she freezes. Amanda was all for that so I found an old receipt in my purse and wrote down 5 generic questions.
There were other girls there who were nervous but by the time I helped out Amanda I didn't have time to talk to the others for more than a second. Once the guys entered, we all got reminded of the rules and the speed dating began. No one was especially creepy looking or anything, so that being my main worry I decided that this might be fun. Although there were quite a few guys who I talked to, only a few stuck in my memory. I'll list each of our interactions below and what became of them. I think that I got like 4 or 5 emails/numbers, which is pretty par for the course. Even with the 'con hotness bonus points' I still tend to scare guys away with my sense of humor and personality. I'm just talented like that :-)
Balding w/a pony tail: I'll be honest, looks wise I was one of the better looking women at this event. When the guys were allowed to find a seat, this one guy in particular made a beeline straight for my chair. He beat out I think two guys? Anyway, he looked like your stereotypical balding geek with pasty white skin and light blonde long ponytail that came at least to the middle of his back. He was fine to talk to but non memorable at all. I did appreciate the compliment though of him walking fast to beat out the other guys, but I just wasn't feeling it. Seriously, I can't remember a thing we talked about. I just remember thinking...."I wish that I had a pair of scissors right now so I could solve that hair situation. I wonder if it would be considered assault if I just walked up and cut the pony tail in one snip....I wish I knew a cop to answer these things for me. I could use my phone, but that would be rude. Oh shit, what did he just ask me....".
Black Guy: The most normal of the guys there had to be this black guy I talked to. I was wearing a Pac-Man tshirt and he talked with me about video games. I know enough to keep up a conversation. He was the most comfortable person there by far. He was really cool, funny, and not bad looking either. I was really surprised when he picked me at the end. However, he lived over 2 hours away and things fizzled off as usual pretty quickly.
Who Wears Short Shorts: There was a man there in a bright pink wig, leather sailor hat, white tank top, really short cut offs, and platform red heels. When asked if he was just cosplaying, bisexual, or gay. It was a specific character he was dressed as, but I didn't recognize it so I forgot it. I asked him if he was really interested in women and he said "Oh honey, I'm try-sexual, I'll try anything once." Which is something I've heard a lot before, but I enjoyed that he was being so cool about things. So I asked him about what he did when he wasn't cosplaying. He immediately dropped down to a normal voice register and said "I actually am a professional video game tester, I do a podcast and a few other things." He then immediately went back into character and said that he had a few other ladies he dresses as and that's when the time was up. I ended up picking him later to be friends. We emailed back and forth a few times, but eventually we realized that we had nothing really to talk about and it fizzled out. He was fabulous though and I enjoyed every moment of our brief friendship.
Minute (And A Half) Man: This one guy sat down and we said hello and he just started into his spiel. Hi I'm John and I work in tech I am 24 years old I love video games and zombies including The Walking Dead Comics I also love to cook and travel I went to Montreal on my last vacation with some of my best guy friends I also like to read Sci Fi and Fantasy books whenever I have the chance I like rock music and I have a dog named Barkley. After he stopped I looked at my watch and I was pretty sure he had exactly hit the minute and a half mark. My only conclusion was that he stood in the mirror and practiced this for hours trying to get it all down. I imagine that it was because he (like the girl I talked to previously) got really nervous around the opposite sex. As this all very quickly ran through my mind I realized it was my turn. I said "Oh, shit! My turn!" Then I tried to remember everything that he mentioned so I could counterpart. I ran out of time of course. When it was done, he stood up formally shook my hand and left. It was endearing in a bizarre way, but I still didn't find him attractive. So oh well. Moving on.
Quailman: There was a guy who had a giant red Q on a green shirt. So of course when I asked him "Are you Quailman?" He said yes, but he had taken off all the other parts of the outfit. I told him that it was shameful to give up like that. At the very least he should have left the underwear over top of his shorts. He laughed and agreed and we continued our chat. He actually lived in the same city as I do and was just at this Con visiting friends and having fun. I didn't find him attractive either, but very funny, so I left my number for him. He did not leave his for me and I didn't realize this until later. As soon as the session was done I caught a group of people in outfits so I was taking photos. Quailman happened to be there, and waited awkwardly while I worked and then got pissed off and went away when I took too long. I had waved at him while I was doing things and smiled. Honestly, I was very turned off when he huffed away. Later on I saw him in the crowd and I tried to walk over to him. He got super awkward and pretty much did an about face to run away. Now I know why you're single dude. Grow up.
Yo Teach!: The last (but not least) person that I remember from this particular dating experience is a guy who is a teacher. He was absolutely hysterically funny, we got along great and managed to maintain a friendship to this very day. He lives in the city that the Con was in and whenever I am there for work or whatnot we try to hang out or grab a drink. On Facebook he posts these hilarious things that happen with his son and adorable photos of the kid. Having kids is a deal breaker for me, but I do enjoy when people share the funny stuff regarding their munchkins. Regardless, it has been a friendly thing from the get go, so there was never any of that awkward conversation stuff that needed to happen. Positives all around! Gold star for you buddy :-D
Reflection:
Prior to this event, I had never been speed dating at all and overall it wasn't a horrible experience. Dealing with socially awkward guys is pretty much my entire wheelhouse so I wasn't worried at all. Plus, like I said, I basically talk to strangers for a hobby. I was a bit concerned about the girl who I ended up giving the written questions to and luckily I ran into her before I left. She told me that she didn't even need them and that the conversation just flowed naturally. She thought that my giving her a backup plan helped and she even got some numbers. I was so proud of her! Unfortunately, she didn't take notes on all of the guys but luckily I did so I told her which ones were interested in her. One of which, she was really excited about. Oh yeah, putting TWO good deeds in the Karma Bank. Good thing too, because I am always in need of things to even out my sassy mouth :-D Overall, I felt it was a good enough experience for me to do it again. No one was super creepy and I had a lot of fun. Usually I walk away with a number or two, so that's nice. I will tell the other stories from speed dating both regular and Sci Fi later on. So you have that to look forward to. YAY!
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Dating Urban Legends: Taking A Chick Home From The Bar
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
I Made A Funny Ha Ha Ha Ha
Foreword & Reflection:
So, if you are unfamiliar with what the title refers to I'll just leave this link here for your viewing pleasure. :-) Anyway, so this is a bit out of the norm for the blog but I wanted to gather a bunch of fake status updates that I made for a friend of mine. She was dating this guy who was so obsessed with her, that I jokingly one day said that his Facebook must be something akin to a teenage girl's. All of the disgustingly cute and stupid things he probably posts about how much he loves her that I started making up a bunch of ridiculous fake status updates. Now that they've broken up, I am free to share these with the world. Everyone has seen or knows people like this, so just insert that person as the author for your personal amusement. #justgreasingthechutetohellformyself -S
Meat & Potatoes:
1. I haven't heard from my gurl in almost 3 hours. I'm worried.... #missyousomuchithurts #its3amimustbelonely
2. My gurl is so pretty, and smells nice, and even has an exotic name. I am the luckiest man ever! Everyone keeps saying how lucky I am, and I'm like "Shut up! She's MINE!" lol I love her and we're gonna get married for sure! #happy3weekanniversarybabyhunnypie
3. Gurl, stop sayin how much you hate the way you look. You are beautiful even in your pajamas with a mud mask on. I'd hit it anyway! #yourlovelyladylumps
4. Just thought of a time before my gurl. It was dark and depressing before she became the light that brightened my world #youaremysunshinemyonlysunshineyoumakemehapppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
5. Just hanging playing Jeopardy via phone with my girl. She's soooooo smart! #iloveherbigolbrains
6. Totally nailed it...4x if you know what I mean #multipleorgasmsdelivered
7. Just got a new sexy photo from my gurl #havetochangemypantsnow
8. Just hanging outside my gurl's house in case she needs anything. I always want to be there for her #nowheretopeerightnow
9. I told her, if you need anything....ANYTHING ...let me know. Even if you just need a hug, or a kiss...or me to wear a man-gagement ring...even though I haven't asked you...YET lol #somedaysoonmydear
10. OMG just hacked my girl's webcam. She totally didn't cover it with a sticky note #shelookssoprettywhenshessleeping
11. Why won't my girl's friends love me? They'll have to change their opinion. No, I'll make them change their opinion....or I'll solve the problem permanently...J/K! #somedaysoonmydear
12: Totally broke my phone the other night, and I don't have a new one yet. Worst part is that I can't let her know the important things, like how pretty she is today, how much I miss her, how nice her closet smells, how she needs a new light bulb in her closet and what she should be doing today #hurryupmrpostman
13. Thinking of changing my shampoo to match my girl's so that we can have the same one #soulandscentmatesforlife
14. Only 1800 seconds until I see my gurl again!! :-) #timegofaster
15. I was so lost before my wonderful girl came into my life. She really is my guiding star! But I don't have anything more to wish for, because she's my everything! #starlightstarbright #youaremyshiningstar
15. Brainstorming couple costume ideas for Halloween. Was going to be the most in love couple in the world, but the point of Halloween is to be something you're not! Maybe I'll go as a pirate and she can be the chest and booty! #halloweenisforlovers
16. Working on a mix tape to symbolize me and my girl's relationship. So far, it's a lot of Savage Garden. #iknewilovedyoubeforeimetyou
17. My girl is so loving and funny. I can't even explain all her jokes, partially because I don't get them but she sounds really smart and looks super cute when she tells them :-) #thejokeisalwaysonme
18.You know those hats people have started wearing that look like the head of an animal? Well, instead of a panda, or a frog...or a penguin, I got one that loks just like my girl's dog. So whenever she goes to the bathroom he and I do a selfie and send it to her #omgpuppiesaresocute
19. My girl is so sweet, I could just eat her up! Does anybody have any good recipes? #whataboutfavabeans
20. Just accepted the first friend request from one of my girl's friends! So glad that this milestone has happened! #onestepclosertosharingeverything
21. Just bought matching shirts for me and my girl! I would just wear her clothes but my hips aren't curvy enough :-( #newspringwardrobe
22. Missing my regular meal with my girl thanks to work obligations. I really hate my part-time job sometimes... #soreadytobeastayathomedad
23. Was on the way to the bathroom when I got a call from my girl. Answered anyway because I missed her #iloveyoumorethanpooping
Reflection:
There were probably more, but I got bored with them eventually and this is what I found lol As a side note, I was at a local cafe with some girlfriends and reading the collection off to some friends. We were all laughing our asses off. The guy at the table next to us says "Hey ladies!" We all look, and he turns his laptop toward us and it says #idon'tevenknowthisguybutwow He ended up hanging out with us for the rest of the night and talking to us about his current problems with his girlfriend. We ended up being friends. All's well that ends well :-)
So, if you are unfamiliar with what the title refers to I'll just leave this link here for your viewing pleasure. :-) Anyway, so this is a bit out of the norm for the blog but I wanted to gather a bunch of fake status updates that I made for a friend of mine. She was dating this guy who was so obsessed with her, that I jokingly one day said that his Facebook must be something akin to a teenage girl's. All of the disgustingly cute and stupid things he probably posts about how much he loves her that I started making up a bunch of ridiculous fake status updates. Now that they've broken up, I am free to share these with the world. Everyone has seen or knows people like this, so just insert that person as the author for your personal amusement. #justgreasingthechutetohellformyself -S
Meat & Potatoes:
1. I haven't heard from my gurl in almost 3 hours. I'm worried.... #missyousomuchithurts #its3amimustbelonely
2. My gurl is so pretty, and smells nice, and even has an exotic name. I am the luckiest man ever! Everyone keeps saying how lucky I am, and I'm like "Shut up! She's MINE!" lol I love her and we're gonna get married for sure! #happy3weekanniversarybabyhunnypie
3. Gurl, stop sayin how much you hate the way you look. You are beautiful even in your pajamas with a mud mask on. I'd hit it anyway! #yourlovelyladylumps
4. Just thought of a time before my gurl. It was dark and depressing before she became the light that brightened my world #youaremysunshinemyonlysunshineyoumakemehapppyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
5. Just hanging playing Jeopardy via phone with my girl. She's soooooo smart! #iloveherbigolbrains
6. Totally nailed it...4x if you know what I mean #multipleorgasmsdelivered
7. Just got a new sexy photo from my gurl #havetochangemypantsnow
8. Just hanging outside my gurl's house in case she needs anything. I always want to be there for her #nowheretopeerightnow
9. I told her, if you need anything....ANYTHING ...let me know. Even if you just need a hug, or a kiss...or me to wear a man-gagement ring...even though I haven't asked you...YET lol #somedaysoonmydear
10. OMG just hacked my girl's webcam. She totally didn't cover it with a sticky note #shelookssoprettywhenshessleeping
11. Why won't my girl's friends love me? They'll have to change their opinion. No, I'll make them change their opinion....or I'll solve the problem permanently...J/K! #somedaysoonmydear
12: Totally broke my phone the other night, and I don't have a new one yet. Worst part is that I can't let her know the important things, like how pretty she is today, how much I miss her, how nice her closet smells, how she needs a new light bulb in her closet and what she should be doing today #hurryupmrpostman
13. Thinking of changing my shampoo to match my girl's so that we can have the same one #soulandscentmatesforlife
14. Only 1800 seconds until I see my gurl again!! :-) #timegofaster
15. I was so lost before my wonderful girl came into my life. She really is my guiding star! But I don't have anything more to wish for, because she's my everything! #starlightstarbright #youaremyshiningstar
15. Brainstorming couple costume ideas for Halloween. Was going to be the most in love couple in the world, but the point of Halloween is to be something you're not! Maybe I'll go as a pirate and she can be the chest and booty! #halloweenisforlovers
16. Working on a mix tape to symbolize me and my girl's relationship. So far, it's a lot of Savage Garden. #iknewilovedyoubeforeimetyou
17. My girl is so loving and funny. I can't even explain all her jokes, partially because I don't get them but she sounds really smart and looks super cute when she tells them :-) #thejokeisalwaysonme
18.You know those hats people have started wearing that look like the head of an animal? Well, instead of a panda, or a frog...or a penguin, I got one that loks just like my girl's dog. So whenever she goes to the bathroom he and I do a selfie and send it to her #omgpuppiesaresocute
19. My girl is so sweet, I could just eat her up! Does anybody have any good recipes? #whataboutfavabeans
20. Just accepted the first friend request from one of my girl's friends! So glad that this milestone has happened! #onestepclosertosharingeverything
21. Just bought matching shirts for me and my girl! I would just wear her clothes but my hips aren't curvy enough :-( #newspringwardrobe
22. Missing my regular meal with my girl thanks to work obligations. I really hate my part-time job sometimes... #soreadytobeastayathomedad
23. Was on the way to the bathroom when I got a call from my girl. Answered anyway because I missed her #iloveyoumorethanpooping
Reflection:
There were probably more, but I got bored with them eventually and this is what I found lol As a side note, I was at a local cafe with some girlfriends and reading the collection off to some friends. We were all laughing our asses off. The guy at the table next to us says "Hey ladies!" We all look, and he turns his laptop toward us and it says #idon'tevenknowthisguybutwow He ended up hanging out with us for the rest of the night and talking to us about his current problems with his girlfriend. We ended up being friends. All's well that ends well :-)
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Foreword:
If you've ever been on a dating site for an extended period of time, or like me have been off and on over a long period of time, you'll notice that there are some people who are constants. Often times I've discovered that they have some kind of fetish or situation that they don't disclose in their profile. There are a few of those characters that will make an appearance on here, (The ones who wanted to be Brother Husbands already did) and today we are going to discuss Jerry. I don't want to spoil it for you, so I"ll just dive right in. Warning, graphic content and really fucked up shit below. You have been warned. Also, this is NOT an April Fool's Day joke. This is totally serious and really happened. - S
Meat & Potatoes:
I am not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I give the occasional Bi guy a chance. I don't throw stones for being like myself and if they're not super effeminate then I can find them attractive. It's a personal thing, I apparently am attracted to men who are firmly rooted in the male gender role stereotypes (not like the Brawny Man or anything like that, just not super girly) and women who are at the very least on par with a Lipstick Lesbian. Sorry, but that's the way I am. I've given people chances who don't follow that and I just didn't feel the attraction, so ehhh....what you gonna do? Some people don't like blondes, so really....this isn't that odd :-D
I got a message one day on <Insert Free Dating Site Name Here> and it was from a guy we shall call, Jerry. He was adorably cute, dark hair...light blue eyes, and also Bi. We started talking, and he wasn't particularly interesting or funny, but I still enjoyed talking to him. Eventually he made the comment that he has a sister who is also Bi, that they have the same type, and that he would have to hide me from her. I thought that was cute and funny, and my siblings and I do not have the same type AT ALL. So I'm always curious about how that works. Especially since I've seen Lifetime movies where this situation can tear a family apart (Shut up, you've seen it too....don't deny it!). I tell him I'm flattered and we continue talking. He then reveals to me that they've sometimes dated the same person at some point and that she has a tendency to steal girls from him because she's hotter. I told him that I"m not like that, so not to worry and that if I'm into him I am into him, not his sister. He said that he really didn't mind, but that it's happened so frequently that he's just resigned himself to it. Hence why he started keeping them away from her. That's where the conversation ended in regards to that, so we kept talking and planned to meet for dinner one night.
He was a workaholic and got stuck at work, thus cancelling on me. Then he dropped off the face of the earth for no apparent reason. I wrote it off, no big deal, and went on with my life. Months later, he reappears under another screenname apologized for disappearing and said that work got so crazy that he just didn't have time to do anything except eat/sleep/work for months on end. I was like, yeah whatever.....ok.....so we resumed interaction. He eventually brings up again that I am soo hot and that he knows his sister would try to steal me. I was like, yeah you told me that before. This time he sends me a photo of his sister. To be honest, she was way hotter than him, but again I said that I was talking to him and not her and that I'm not that kind of person. He again stated that it was fine if I did. He then went on to tell me that he's sometimes continued to date a girl after his sister stole her. I was like.......WOAAAH, that's an elaboration that didn't happen last time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've dated the same person as someone else I know had dated at some point in time, but not someone one of my SIBLINGS dated. I was like...well, now I just HAVE TO know more about how far things went. So I asked him if they ever shared a girl at the same time. He said yes, just once, it was a bit weird but the girl they were sharing was in the middle and that he and his sister never touched each other at any point at all.
This....is the point where I had to go scrape the bits of my mind off of the walls and try to shove it back into my head. I hadn't meant, as in like a threesome....I had meant, dated at the same time. Not FUCKED at the same time, seeing each other naked.....god.....oh god....*shudder. Excuse me, I need to go shower because I feel dirty right now. Mind you, I've had a threesome before, but come on....this is some Jerry Springer shit. Seriously.
Eventually, I managed to superglue my bits of brain back together and well, I had to ask some questions. Curiosity just wouldn't let me do anything else. I asked if they were, adopted siblings, half siblings....he said full siblings, lived a normal childhood growing up together, they're close in age (within 2 or 3 years). I was like.......well, there goes any shot of this being not super incesty (that's not even a word and I don't care) weird. At this point I knew from experience that once the bombs start to drop of this nature, there usually are others. So I tried to get him to tell me if there was anything else I should know. He said there wasn't, and things followed the same pattern. Let's meet, he disappears etc etc I was pretty much expecting it this time, but I was curious to see what he was like in person. If he was creepy, would show up with his sister...and other things that would make for an amusing time for a deranged person like myself.
He disappears again, time passes and lo and behold I get a message just like last time. "Hey, I know I disappeared but my best friend died and I took it really bad so I fell off the face of the earth. I'm so, so sorry and you are so great I just had to at least explain myself. I understand if you don't even want to talk to me ever again." Me being a sucker and still have kind of a soul....felt some sympathy for the poor guy and said all the appropriate things you say when someone deals with a devastating loss like that. Really, I was just waiting to see what new bomb he had to drop....if there even was one. If nothing else happened, he was entertaining to talk to for a short period of time and was very complimentary. I do believe this is what you call a WIN-WIN situation, especially since he would send me photos of his really great body and didn't expect anything in return from me. Funny how that works sometimes. Anyway....eventually we get on the subject of his sister. All the same stuff is discussed, and then, eventually the big bomb drops. "Well, one time we shared a girl and it got super weird." I of course asked if they shared a girl more than once, and he said yes....but the most recent time his sister was going down on the girl....and his sister grabbed his dick and put it in her. No....you didn't read that wrong. He was just hanging out, behind his sister, already assumed in the position, and his sister grabbed his junk and stuck him in her. AND HE KEPT ON GOING.
Jerry also told me that he and his sister talked about it afterward and they said that they got lost in the moment and it was too weird and they wouldn't do THAT again. Specifically the sexual contact between the two of them. NOT....THE THREESOME STUFF. Which leads me to believe that they're going to do it again. Meaning of course, that he was looking for me to take part in it. They were both really hot, but no one is hot enough to be able to make that happen with me. Jesus Christ Almighty. Hell Fucking NO.
This was just too much....even for Jerry Springer. Ok, well maybe not, but yeesh. It was too much for me. I told him that I was NOT interested in him anymore and peaced the fuck out of this situation. He tried messaging me again a long while later, and remembered me but couldn't remember how much he had told me. I reiterated what he told me and he just wanted to talk about all of his naughty activities with his sister.....again...IN DETAIL. Even when I told him that he told me all this already, he kept going! Even when I said that I didn't want to hear any more, he kept going. I was like, nope nope nope, nope nope, nope nope nope....fuck this. No thanks. Go away. BLOCKED. If I could have blocked him 20 more times, I would have. Just to make him go away for good.
Reflection:
This is by far is one of the most shocking things I ever encountered while on a dating site. There is another story that I'm saving for the blog's one year anniversary that is much funnier but equally as shocking. However, I won't give any of that away because I don't want to spoil the surprise :-) My curiosity gets the best of me and now I can't get this story out of my brain. People swear that it can't be true. However, I saved the chats. How could I not?! It's just too much. Too much. I sincerely hope that he was fucking with me, but based on the conversations we had and the way he talked about things it was very clear he was not trolling me. Another thing was also very clear. He is in love with his sister and was trying to make it happen again. I just have this feeling that he has perhaps a fetish or a fantasy thing going on...I don't know, I'm not a psychologist but it's clear what he was trying to make everything happen. They clearly have a lot of issues. Things kept progressing and progressing....at some point I'm sure that they will or have already had sex just the two of them. Unless, they stopped and got help. I really do hope they did. However, I seriously doubt it.
Other things that baffled me:
After the first time they shared a girl, they decided to try it again AT LEAST ONCE.
He was aroused by watching his sister eat out another girl.
How and why did things progress the way they did?
Did he lie before or did all this happen while he was MIA?
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T HE FREAK OUT WHEN SHE GRABBED HIS JUNK?!
Silly me, being completely shocked at all of the things that were going on here. Not only were they consenting adults, but they were in their late 20's...and how in the HELL was the girl they were not related to them (I assume innocently) ok with all of this happening?! I was weirded out by all of this when he said that they had dated the same people and his sister steals his girlfriends. ?!?!?!?!.........................?????????????????..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!????????..........*sigh
And now you know the worst encounter I ever had via a dating site. You would think that this deterred me from them forever, but it would be like blaming fire for someone burning down their house due to falling asleep with candles lit. It just wouldn't be fair. In my defense, I feel like I'm much better at weeding out the super crazy people. Or maybe I just haven't encountered someone worse than this. Quite frankly, I don't think that I could handle anything worse.
Next week's entry will be funny, I promise.
This....is the point where I had to go scrape the bits of my mind off of the walls and try to shove it back into my head. I hadn't meant, as in like a threesome....I had meant, dated at the same time. Not FUCKED at the same time, seeing each other naked.....god.....oh god....*shudder. Excuse me, I need to go shower because I feel dirty right now. Mind you, I've had a threesome before, but come on....this is some Jerry Springer shit. Seriously.
Eventually, I managed to superglue my bits of brain back together and well, I had to ask some questions. Curiosity just wouldn't let me do anything else. I asked if they were, adopted siblings, half siblings....he said full siblings, lived a normal childhood growing up together, they're close in age (within 2 or 3 years). I was like.......well, there goes any shot of this being not super incesty (that's not even a word and I don't care) weird. At this point I knew from experience that once the bombs start to drop of this nature, there usually are others. So I tried to get him to tell me if there was anything else I should know. He said there wasn't, and things followed the same pattern. Let's meet, he disappears etc etc I was pretty much expecting it this time, but I was curious to see what he was like in person. If he was creepy, would show up with his sister...and other things that would make for an amusing time for a deranged person like myself.
He disappears again, time passes and lo and behold I get a message just like last time. "Hey, I know I disappeared but my best friend died and I took it really bad so I fell off the face of the earth. I'm so, so sorry and you are so great I just had to at least explain myself. I understand if you don't even want to talk to me ever again." Me being a sucker and still have kind of a soul....felt some sympathy for the poor guy and said all the appropriate things you say when someone deals with a devastating loss like that. Really, I was just waiting to see what new bomb he had to drop....if there even was one. If nothing else happened, he was entertaining to talk to for a short period of time and was very complimentary. I do believe this is what you call a WIN-WIN situation, especially since he would send me photos of his really great body and didn't expect anything in return from me. Funny how that works sometimes. Anyway....eventually we get on the subject of his sister. All the same stuff is discussed, and then, eventually the big bomb drops. "Well, one time we shared a girl and it got super weird." I of course asked if they shared a girl more than once, and he said yes....but the most recent time his sister was going down on the girl....and his sister grabbed his dick and put it in her. No....you didn't read that wrong. He was just hanging out, behind his sister, already assumed in the position, and his sister grabbed his junk and stuck him in her. AND HE KEPT ON GOING.
Jerry also told me that he and his sister talked about it afterward and they said that they got lost in the moment and it was too weird and they wouldn't do THAT again. Specifically the sexual contact between the two of them. NOT....THE THREESOME STUFF. Which leads me to believe that they're going to do it again. Meaning of course, that he was looking for me to take part in it. They were both really hot, but no one is hot enough to be able to make that happen with me. Jesus Christ Almighty. Hell Fucking NO.
This was just too much....even for Jerry Springer. Ok, well maybe not, but yeesh. It was too much for me. I told him that I was NOT interested in him anymore and peaced the fuck out of this situation. He tried messaging me again a long while later, and remembered me but couldn't remember how much he had told me. I reiterated what he told me and he just wanted to talk about all of his naughty activities with his sister.....again...IN DETAIL. Even when I told him that he told me all this already, he kept going! Even when I said that I didn't want to hear any more, he kept going. I was like, nope nope nope, nope nope, nope nope nope....fuck this. No thanks. Go away. BLOCKED. If I could have blocked him 20 more times, I would have. Just to make him go away for good.
Reflection:
This is by far is one of the most shocking things I ever encountered while on a dating site. There is another story that I'm saving for the blog's one year anniversary that is much funnier but equally as shocking. However, I won't give any of that away because I don't want to spoil the surprise :-) My curiosity gets the best of me and now I can't get this story out of my brain. People swear that it can't be true. However, I saved the chats. How could I not?! It's just too much. Too much. I sincerely hope that he was fucking with me, but based on the conversations we had and the way he talked about things it was very clear he was not trolling me. Another thing was also very clear. He is in love with his sister and was trying to make it happen again. I just have this feeling that he has perhaps a fetish or a fantasy thing going on...I don't know, I'm not a psychologist but it's clear what he was trying to make everything happen. They clearly have a lot of issues. Things kept progressing and progressing....at some point I'm sure that they will or have already had sex just the two of them. Unless, they stopped and got help. I really do hope they did. However, I seriously doubt it.
Other things that baffled me:
After the first time they shared a girl, they decided to try it again AT LEAST ONCE.
He was aroused by watching his sister eat out another girl.
How and why did things progress the way they did?
Did he lie before or did all this happen while he was MIA?
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T HE FREAK OUT WHEN SHE GRABBED HIS JUNK?!
Silly me, being completely shocked at all of the things that were going on here. Not only were they consenting adults, but they were in their late 20's...and how in the HELL was the girl they were not related to them (I assume innocently) ok with all of this happening?! I was weirded out by all of this when he said that they had dated the same people and his sister steals his girlfriends. ?!?!?!?!.........................?????????????????..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!!????????..........*sigh
And now you know the worst encounter I ever had via a dating site. You would think that this deterred me from them forever, but it would be like blaming fire for someone burning down their house due to falling asleep with candles lit. It just wouldn't be fair. In my defense, I feel like I'm much better at weeding out the super crazy people. Or maybe I just haven't encountered someone worse than this. Quite frankly, I don't think that I could handle anything worse.
Next week's entry will be funny, I promise.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)