Something You Know Is A Possibility But Never Needed Confirmed

Foreword:

Sometimes, you just have to see how far down the rabbit hole goes. It's always interesting to see how far down I can make it before I have to abort mission. - S

Meat & Potatoes:

Focker: First of all, you are distressingly gorgeous, but I will try and focus my preliminary comments to those things that we have in common and what I am seeking from this website… (I'll be honest here, I feel like I'm different looking. Not 'hot' in the traditional sense when you talk about the long and lean kind of universal supermodel way. It has it's drawbacks and perks, but I am just going to have to call bullshit on this one at some point to him lol)

Love the profile/question responses, and I think the match % really bears out that we have a LOT in common. More than just similar interests, it sounds to me like we even have a similar philosophy in life. I really enjoyed reading through your question responses, with a couple exceptions (that I think it would be really fun to discuss/debate) I think we would we hit it off immediately :).

For me, living in the middle of nowhere, I find it impossible to meet the more, off the wall, eccentric, liberal, fun loving types like yourself in real life. So while it might take a bit of effort to convince you of my awesomeness, I think the upside and reward is far and away worth it. With any luck....maybe you even feel the same way?

So with that...do you have AIM, gchat, skype, yahoo or anything similar? I would love to chat sometime so that hopefully my witty banter can be more fully appreciated :).

Me:  Lol Thanks for the compliment. I must say that I haven't been called that before. Since I'm a bit of a....chameleon when it comes to the looks department I get different viewpoints lol.

Off the wall is one way to describe me lol Sure you can Gchat me​ (<<---- big mistake)

*boring generic back and forth get to know you shit omitted from Gchat. Somehow we get on the subject of anal….*

Focker:  I love getting it in the ass...actually having a girl use a strap on is nice too...or getting it from her bf while I fuck her too...it’s all gold

Me:  lol Pegging! Such a funny word.  Anyway, so which do you prefer?  Guys or girls?  Both equally?

Focker:  I wouldn't date a guy. But I'd Fuck whoever asked first. Or both at once lol. Sex is like a hobby to me so I'm down for whatever (What a very dangerous hobby lol I wonder how much he spends in a year on STD tests.)

Me:  How very adventurous

Focker:  Lol you want adventurous....I just beat off in the office bathroom lol  (.........................................................................................................................................................................................I...............................uhm........................................WHAT?!)

Me:  Yeah, that’s one thing I won’t do.  My work life is my work life.  My home/relationships are separate

Focker:  Oh, yea I don’t play with anyone at work.  But sometimes you just get too horny to make it through the day lol I doubt anyone here even knows I’m bi (Clearly this guy has some kind of insatiable libido, so I try to get us off the subject of things related to his penis. Successfully, thank god. I can only say that sheer curiosity kept me talking to this guy. Don't I make great decisions? lol I had already told him that I just want to be friends, so the chances of him pointing his overactive member toward me were slim at this point.)

*more random chat type stuff before ending the session relatively normally*

Focker:  Hey

Me: Sup homie? (I have no idea why, but I was calling everyone "homie" for like 3 weeks. Yeah, I know I'm weird.)

Focker:  Just got home, so I’m jacking off

Me:  I’m not sure if I should start a slow clap or wait for the cue to just blow an airhorn (Slightly annoyed but amused snark)

Focker:  I think I’ll take the airhorn to cover up my screams

Me:  lol A screamer...I have had some pretty intense orgasms, but I’ve never felt that screaming would be an appropriate enhancer

Focker:  Best orgasm I ever saw was this girl I was doing in college...granted she was high at the time, but she actually passed out from being fucked

Me:  I’ve heard of that happening before

Focker:  She was multi orgasmic and we were gangbanging her and she was on like her 5th or 6th continuous orgasm and couldn’t take anymore I guess lol

Me:  I have heard it happens when women hold their breath during an orgasm.  So I imagine back to back you just lose oxygen?   BTW, side note...so the 'alarmingly gorgeous' line in your message....is that one you use with everyone? I've got a bet going w/my friend lol

Focker:  Did I say alarmingly?  I don’t think that’s a word I would use...but I know I craft each email for a specific person.

Me:  Oh, I’m sorry, distressingly gorgeous

Focker:  haha ok that sounds more like something I would say.  Nope just came to me when I wrote it up.

Me:  Well how sweet, I was sure it was a generic line

Focker:  Ouch, I have no reason to lie

Me:  Oh it’s not an insult

Focker:  In fact, I jacked off to your first photo right before sending that email...you earned the line lol

Me: (30 second pause while I try to wrap my head around what just happened)  Fair enough

Reflection:  

I’ve seen the commercials for Sour Patch Kids, and I’m just going to assume that you have too.  The tagline is ‘First they’re sour...then they’re sweet!’  Well, this started off so sweet and thoughtful and ended awkwardly (to say the least).  If there is an equivalent candy analogy for the reverse of a Sour Patch Kid, it would have to be Sour Gushers, sweet on the outside with a surprise sour goo in the middle.  Lovely, right?

No Thanks, Random Stranger.

You would think with all the articles and tidbits on the Internet, in magazines and hell, even in movies and televisions shows, a man would know how to write a proper, decent message to a woman.

Anyone over the age of 21 should know how to send a coherent, thoughtful message without sounding desperate, creepy and moronic.

But, what am I saying? These are dating sites we're talking about.

And the messages guys send are gems, really. I mean gems in the most sarcastic way imaginable.

For example:

• While I did mention that I happen to have a food allergy, I don't need some random dude to make sure I don't eat any. I can do that myself, thanks. Unless... you meant your nuts... and even then, I still wouldn't eat them. That's just creepy.
• If what you actually meant was you like to find random girls on your long drives out of town, then no thanks. 
• I know plenty of girls who have more girls as friends, so that statement is null.
• NO, we don't need to play a game of pool, I'd most likely kick your ass at darts so screw the "may", and I really don't want to sip on a drink with some dude who wants to take me on a ride on his "motorcycle," if that's what people are calling it these days. 

Yeah, no real structure, substance and it was just awkward and creepy. While I usually try to be friendly to everyone who sends me a message, I just couldn't muster up the energy to bother with this one. 

Believe me when I say that I have plenty more where that came from. - A

Keeping It In The Family or Brother Husbands

Foreword:  

At some point, I'll find myself talking to people just out of curiosity and a lot of times, just because I want to see how far down the rabbit hole things go. Here's one of the many conversations that have resulted due to my boredom and/or curiosity - S

Words of wisdom:  Curiosity killed the chat

Meat & Potatoes:

Ginger Twin (GT):  Hey, I saw you looked at my profile.  Are you interested in a polyandrous relationship?

Me:  I’m not entirely sure that I know what that is….

GT:  Well, it’s one woman and multiple men.  I wouldn’t be sleeping with anyone else, and neither would be any of the men you are with.  My brother and I used to date this one woman and she turned us onto the lifestyle.

Me:  I just don’t understand the specifics, like why you think it works and are interested in it.  Benefits of that type of relationship...etc

GT:  Well, it just makes sense when you think about it.  Women naturally can handle more guys.  Women don’t have to stop once they’re pleased.  Men can only go a few times and then need a break in between.  Also, if women weren’t supposed to have more than one partner, then they wouldn’t be able to make a baby from any man they choose.  So...are you interested or just asking questions?

Me:  Honestly, I don’t know.  I just don’t know much about it and Wiki isn’t super helpful lol

GT:  lol I understand

Me:  So, with me being bi, how does that factor in?  Also, would it be like Big Love, only with the roles reversed?  Sorry if these seem stupid, just trying to wrap my head around it.

GT:  Yeah, just like that.  1 woman with probably 2 or 3 men to start off, maybe more if you think that you want more

Me:  How did you get turned on to this lifestyle?

GT:  Three years ago, I had a girlfriend but she changed her mind and just wanted one guy.

Me:  Ohh, so it’s not quite an open relationship.  It’s basically like polyamory, but only she has multiple guys.

GT:  Yes

Me:  Interesting.  What made you decide that this was the right lifestyle for you?  Did she turn you on to it?

GT:  Yes

Me:  Cool.  So what do you get out of sharing the one woman?

GT:  She started fucking my brother, but they broke up since then.  I started dating her, then she told me women have a right to more than one man.  She started to fuck my brother and said it was the right thing.  Then, broke off with just them dating, then they broke up.  She didn’t want long-term, but I decided long-term is something I want.

Me:  Gotcha.  So what do you like about the lifestyle?

GT:  She broke my brother’s heart so I’m’ not sure if he would do it again.

Me:  I’m sorry to hear that about your brother.  I’m assuming she broke yours too.  That’s never fun.

GT:  Well, we got along great.  She would stay home, not work and when I got off work I would be able to spend time with her, sometimes...one of us would have to wait, but it wasn’t that bad.  It hurt but, I knew there was another chance or someone that might want this.

Me:  Yeah, there’s people who want pretty much any kind of relationship scenario you can think of lol

GT:  What do you want?

Me:  I don’t know.  Some guy wanted to be cuckholded before and I wasn’t into humiliating him about it.  So I was making sure this wasn’t the same thing.

GT:  It’s not.  The woman is in charge, but she has several men.  No humiliation, just love.

Me:  Hrm, I dunno, it sounds cool, but I would have to really care about the people to want to do that.  

GT:  Yes you would.  I also want kids and so might the next guy.  If you got my brother into it, I know he does.

Me:  I’m not sure if I want kids.

GT:  Oh, that’s a deal breaker for me.  I just want to be honest about it.

Me:  Yeah, sorry lol  Good luck in your hunt though :-)

GT:  Ok, thanks.  Later.

Reflection:  

Did...I just get rejected by potentially TWO gingers who want to be brother husbands because I don’t know if I want kids?!  o.O

Bringing A Knife To A Gun Fight

Foreword:  

Being a female, you get a LOT of messages from creepy men.  I naturally address that issue in my profile since I’m a no-nonsense kind of girl.  I also don’t list that I’m looking for casual sex, but yet...these men, they just don’t care.  It’s all about the numbers.  The more messages you send, the higher the probability that you’ll get a response.  Also, lets be honest ladies, if we’re looking for sex, you just have to tell an eligible (hell sometimes they don’t even need to be eligible) and acceptable by YOUR standards man that you want to have sex with them.  Many not very good looking women manage to get laid this way because we hold the answer to the ultimate question.  What’s the ultimate question you ask?  Why, whether or not the man is going to get laid of course.  Once you get that tidbit out of the way, you would be surprised by the quality of woman your average man is willing to fuck.  However, I digress.  This entry is about my good friend I’m calling Sparky.  I’ve decided that a screenshot of our conversation best sums everything up.  Enjoy! - S

Meat & Potatoes:

Welcome To Our Blog

Everyone keeps seeing those commercials: “One in every three relationships start online”.

We’ve come a long way from the origins of dating sites. People have heard all the horror stories, the tragic news events and are a quite skeptical about meeting people from online. But, online dating sites have also become much more socially acceptable.  

So, we’ve separately decided at some point to try dating websites.  Being the frugal people we are, we opted from accounts on OK Cupid and Plenty Of Fish. Some short and long-term relationships formed because of those websites, while friendships were made. This is how we found each other. After exchanging war stories from the websites about people we’ve met and faced, we decided to collect them here.

We'll attempt to post a story every week or every other week on Wednesdays.

Things that you should keep in mind:

1- Warning!  Adult Content!

2- We will never use real names.  It’s easier for everyone if it’s anonymous on all counts.

3- These stories are taken from actual encounters that happened. But, as usual, it’s from our perspective and recollection.  We don’t aim to tell all sides of the story, just our own.

4- These stories aren’t just from online dating.  It’s any dating or social interactions we have with people that end up going toward or being romantic.  From a hookup to an actual boyfriend/girlfriend, if it was funny and/or interesting, it’s fair game.

Those being said, buckle up buttercup. You’re in for a bumpy ride.

-S & A