Foreword:
Back when I first started doing the online dating thing, I thought that I would start with a free account on Plenty Of Fish (POF). I quickly learned that there are two kinds of people on that website, women looking for a sugar daddy for their 15 kids and unemployed men. Although I met my good friend M (featured in the Under Pressure post) on there, most of the people I ended up talking to were just so excited to find a gainfully employed woman who didn't have any kids. Well, at some point I got a message from a guy who was a web developer for a few dating sites and he had accounts to test them. He also, used the site to meet women of course. We started chatting but eventually I just discovered that I wasn't into him. We stopped talking and life went on. Then, randomly I got a message from him about a month later....-S
Meat & Potatoes:
Web Developer (WD): Hey, what are you doing?
Me: Hey, long time no talk. Not much, what's up with you?
WD: I'm just going back through your profile.
Me: Why?
WD: To remind myself what an ugly bitch you are
Me: Is this a joke?
WD: No, you're a fat cow and I don't know what I ever saw in you.
Me: Uhm, we only chatted a couple times and you messaged me first so you must have liked what you saw a bit.
WD: I must have been wasted out of my mind. That's the only reason why I would ever think your disgusting face was attractive. You're so fat you would probably crush me.
Me: Your whole profile is about how you lost like 100 lbs and still had another 60 or so to go before you would stop. Plus, you're still bigger than me, so I don't see how that would even be possible. Plus, your profile is all about being loving toward each other and not causing drama....this seems like the complete opposite of what you're all about. Are you a hypocrite?
WD: Yes...yes I am. You should never waggle your fat fingers over the keyboard ever again to talk to me.
Me: Ok then, I will do that once you stop waggling your fat fingers over the keyboard to stop messaging me.
WD: I'll do whatever I want, and I'll message you with whatever I want to say.
Me: This is a free country but that's a great way to get your ass blocked. Or shall I say your fat ass blocked. I'm pretty sure this is someone hacking a profile, only I'm not sure when the link to a virus is going to happen.
WD: I am the virus, and I infected you with fat cells.
Me: *sigh this is getting less entertaining by the moment. Can't you think of better insults? Like perhaps "I wish you would catch a lethal virus, so you can do the world a favor and die" or maybe "You could use the flu virus a few times to help you drop some weight. At least you would be skinny and ugly, and not fat and ugly". I mean, really...bring your A-game here toots.
WD: I don't have to bring anything to you, you don't deserve it.
Me: Yes, because I deserve to be bothered by a raving loon on someone else's dating site. You do know that he's going to find these chats eventually, right? Then he's going to know who hacked his profile. He's a Web Developer for the site. Seriously. You are a complete moron.
WD: (No response)
Me: Yeah, nothing to say to that? Weak *Block*
Reflection:
About two days later I got a message from a similarly named account to the old one with a few numbers after the handle that went something like this.
WD2: Hey, I just wanted to apologize for what happened the other day. This girl I had been seeing got on my computer and started messaging every girl that I ever talked to on here. Apparently, she was trying to take out the competition by making me look like an ass. I am soo sorry for that. This is why I'm not dating white chicks anymore. They're all crazy (Side note, he's a white guy but very wigger-y)
Me: That's fine, I figured as much. It was entertaining for about 10 minutes. No worries, no hard feelings. Also, crazy knows no race or creed, women can be crazy from any nation and in every skin tone. You just need to avoid crazy chicks in general.
WD2: Yeah, that's true but in my experience all the drama and crazy comes from the white ones. I'm just not going to date them anymore. So how you been?
Me: *Ignore
Not going to date white chicks because they're all crazy?! I'm pretty sure you're single because you just keep dating crazy bitches. However, I hear the crazy ones are great in bed. Maybe that's his real problem, not that white chicks are crazy. Racist bastard. - S
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