Foreword:
Sometimes, you just have to see how far down the rabbit hole goes. It's always interesting to see how far down I can make it before I have to abort mission. - S
Meat & Potatoes:
Focker: First of all, you are distressingly gorgeous, but I will try and focus my preliminary comments to those things that we have in common and what I am seeking from this website… (I'll be honest here, I feel like I'm different looking. Not 'hot' in the traditional sense when you talk about the long and lean kind of universal supermodel way. It has it's drawbacks and perks, but I am just going to have to call bullshit on this one at some point to him lol)
Love the profile/question responses, and I think the match % really bears out that we have a LOT in common. More than just similar interests, it sounds to me like we even have a similar philosophy in life. I really enjoyed reading through your question responses, with a couple exceptions (that I think it would be really fun to discuss/debate) I think we would we hit it off immediately :).
For me, living in the middle of nowhere, I find it impossible to meet the more, off the wall, eccentric, liberal, fun loving types like yourself in real life. So while it might take a bit of effort to convince you of my awesomeness, I think the upside and reward is far and away worth it. With any luck....maybe you even feel the same way?
So with that...do you have AIM, gchat, skype, yahoo or anything similar? I would love to chat sometime so that hopefully my witty banter can be more fully appreciated :).
Me: Lol Thanks for the compliment. I must say that I haven't been called that before. Since I'm a bit of a....chameleon when it comes to the looks department I get different viewpoints lol.
Off the wall is one way to describe me lol Sure you can Gchat me (<<---- big mistake)
*boring generic back and forth get to know you shit omitted from Gchat. Somehow we get on the subject of anal….*
Focker: I love getting it in the ass...actually having a girl use a strap on is nice too...or getting it from her bf while I fuck her too...it’s all gold
Me: lol Pegging! Such a funny word. Anyway, so which do you prefer? Guys or girls? Both equally?
Focker: I wouldn't date a guy. But I'd Fuck whoever asked first. Or both at once lol. Sex is like a hobby to me so I'm down for whatever (What a very dangerous hobby lol I wonder how much he spends in a year on STD tests.)
Me: How very adventurous
Focker: Lol you want adventurous....I just beat off in the office bathroom lol (.........................................................................................................................................................................................I...............................uhm........................................WHAT?!)
Me: Yeah, that’s one thing I won’t do. My work life is my work life. My home/relationships are separate
Focker: Oh, yea I don’t play with anyone at work. But sometimes you just get too horny to make it through the day lol I doubt anyone here even knows I’m bi (Clearly this guy has some kind of insatiable libido, so I try to get us off the subject of things related to his penis. Successfully, thank god. I can only say that sheer curiosity kept me talking to this guy. Don't I make great decisions? lol I had already told him that I just want to be friends, so the chances of him pointing his overactive member toward me were slim at this point.)
*more random chat type stuff before ending the session relatively normally*
Focker: Hey
Me: Sup homie? (I have no idea why, but I was calling everyone "homie" for like 3 weeks. Yeah, I know I'm weird.)
Focker: Just got home, so I’m jacking off
Me: I’m not sure if I should start a slow clap or wait for the cue to just blow an airhorn (Slightly annoyed but amused snark)
Focker: I think I’ll take the airhorn to cover up my screams
Me: lol A screamer...I have had some pretty intense orgasms, but I’ve never felt that screaming would be an appropriate enhancer
Focker: Best orgasm I ever saw was this girl I was doing in college...granted she was high at the time, but she actually passed out from being fucked
Me: I’ve heard of that happening before
Focker: She was multi orgasmic and we were gangbanging her and she was on like her 5th or 6th continuous orgasm and couldn’t take anymore I guess lol
Me: I have heard it happens when women hold their breath during an orgasm. So I imagine back to back you just lose oxygen? BTW, side note...so the 'alarmingly gorgeous' line in your message....is that one you use with everyone? I've got a bet going w/my friend lol
Focker: Did I say alarmingly? I don’t think that’s a word I would use...but I know I craft each email for a specific person.
Me: Oh, I’m sorry, distressingly gorgeous
Focker: haha ok that sounds more like something I would say. Nope just came to me when I wrote it up.
Me: Well how sweet, I was sure it was a generic line
Focker: Ouch, I have no reason to lie
Me: Oh it’s not an insult
Focker: In fact, I jacked off to your first photo right before sending that email...you earned the line lol
Me: (30 second pause while I try to wrap my head around what just happened) Fair enough
Reflection:
I’ve seen the commercials for Sour Patch Kids, and I’m just going to assume that you have too. The tagline is ‘First they’re sour...then they’re sweet!’ Well, this started off so sweet and thoughtful and ended awkwardly (to say the least). If there is an equivalent candy analogy for the reverse of a Sour Patch Kid, it would have to be Sour Gushers, sweet on the outside with a surprise sour goo in the middle. Lovely, right?
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