Foreword:
So, my experiences dating women are sadly few. I've noticed that most lesbians are wary of bisexual girls for reasons that vary from the legitimate to the ridiculous. However, every once in a while the stars align and I end up talking to one. This story is about this petite very cute girl who ended up just dropping off the face of the earth, only to reappear again in a surprising place. -S
Meat & Potatoes:
I had started talking to Sandy via of course one of my online dating websites. She was shorter than me (which is saying something as I am at the very bottom of average height for women) and I thought that she had a really cool personality and look to her. As time went on, we would text and talk but she was a workaholic and one of those people who don't pay attention to her phone. So, it took FOREVER to try and set up a meeting. We were supposed to meet once, and she had to cancel because of work and we ended up trying to meet up again but it never happened. However, she did confess a few things to me before we mutually disappeared into the ether.
She had been a lesbian for years, and was by no means a gold star lesbian. Although she is straight laced for work, in her sex life she had been a lot more adventurous. Joining some group sex situations that were a bit different. Having her way with like 3 sets of couples at once, but only entertaining herself with the ladies. Some other things along the same lines, but nothing like super crazy. The thing that she really wanted to stress with me was that she was exploring her options, including men. She had a friend that she had a flirtation with for a long time and they were toying with the idea of dating etc I really didn't care as I never am serious about people until I actually meet them and decide in person. She was cool so far and didn't seem crazy, so that alone put her light years ahead of a lot of people.
The last time I tried to talk to her, we had made tentative plans to hang out (yet again) and when I text her the night before about it she didn't respond. As someone who had disappeared for a day or more before I wasn't worried so I text her the day of and she didn't respond. Nor did she respond ever again. So, me being me I assumed she had found someone or lost interest, so I moved on with my life. That whole attitude that your friends try to instill in you by saying "She blew you off, it's HER/HIS loss!" is basically how I feel whenever things like this happen. If I made a good faith effort to keep our plans and you can't even bother to let me know that you're not down, well....then fuck you. I don't really linger on it though and figure they had their reasons. Rarely, do I ever run into those people ever again anyway, so it's kind of moot point.
Of course, I ran into this person again. I had went to see a friend's band play at a bar on the other side of town. I only had one drink, and ordered some food but I left my tab open. I was so tired when I left (it had been a long work day before that) so I forgot my ID at the bar. I went the next day to get it, and the place was PACKED for an event. They had a bunch of food trucks there, live music going and I was just trying to get my goddamn id. I was exhausted from the week, I had to be somewhere within the next half hour to meet friends and I was dressed like a bum. I quite frankly just wanted to get in and get out. While I was waiting to have a bartender notice me, I spotted Sandy across the room out of the corner of my eye. She looked over at me but hadn't seen that I saw her first and I knew that she recognized me because she kept staring. She was also making the 'come hither' eyes at me and smiling. At first I didn't quite know what to do. She looked really good, clearly because she knew that she was going out lol I was in cut off shorts, a t-shirt and my flip flops that my friend's dog got to chew for a few minutes before I realized what they were doing. Needless to say, I was not looking my best, which did not help things.
After a few moments of just staring at the bartenders, the liquor and pretending that I didn't see her or see how she was looking at me, I decided to just ignore her. I did it for a few reasons. The first being that she stood me up, and that quite frankly is a deal breaker for me. The second being my general irritability and I didn't really want to have to put on my charming face. Third, I was bound by a time crunch and I needed to GTFO so really I wouldn't get to talk to her for more than a minute. So, luckily within the next few minutes I got my card and just left. I did look around the bar before I left and noticed that she had disappeared. Which was good, because then I didn't have to rethink my decision. I left, and the day continued on like it never happened. Now, I know what you're saying...well, obviously you avoided the situation because it was awkward as hell. Yes, in part, but really awkward situations don't bother me. I am confident in my ability to smooth over awkward situations whenever I need to, so it wasn't a factor at all. That was over a year ago, and I haven't run into her since. Even when I've been to that bar, which I know is one of her favorites.
Reflection:
In hindsight, I let my crankiness make my decision really. If I hadn't been in such a rush and so tired, I would have walked right over to her and charmed her pants off. Regardless of how bummy I looked. Personally, I don't think that I'm much to look at, but I know that given the opportunity I have a really good chance of charming people. I just got my Dad's natural likability I guess. Which is really hilarious to me, because I feel like I'm a real jerk to people sometimes. Anyway, the moral of this story is...don't forget your card at the favorite bar or someone who stood you up. Chances are, you'll run into them and have to make the decision I did. It's best to just not put yourself in that situation if you can avoid it. It did make me feel a bit better though that she was basically eye fucking me. So points to my grungy self? I have no idea :-D
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