Private Eye

Foreword:

Well, since we talked about Craigslist last week, you should know that this is going to be a running thing.  I have quite a few stories from there.  The funny part is that I really only had two points in my life where I felt the urge to take a risk and possibly end up stuffed in a psycho's basement. However, as you've come to learn about me, everything is justified if I'm alleviated from my boredom. So here's another installment.  -S

Meat & Potatoes:

So, I was again, single, not sleeping, bored, lonely....so I was looking at the "platonic" section of Craigslist and I came across a guy who was looking for someone to help him hunt down the ninja that keeps stealing the left socks from his dryer. I thought it was hysterical, so I (as always) send an email saying such. He actually responded (that hardly ever happens) and we started chatting. He was a bit odd, but funny and that was fine with me. We decided to have a friendly meal to finally meet. Now, this is a stance I took a long time ago when it came to meeting people for the first time: Whether as a friendly thing, a date, or just something to do, always pick someplace that you know that you'll enjoy. If things go horribly, then at least, you enjoyed your meal. Selfish I know, but that's how I roll.

We met at this fun little hot dog place that I love, and I didn't wear anything special. Just jeans, my chucks, a t-shirt, no makeup, etc. I wasn't trying to impress anyone. He shows up and has on similar attire. But this guy is a strawberry blonde, not that great looking, and has a ginger-shaded red beard in a style called mutton chops. I didn't quite know what to think, but given the conversations that we had, I wasn't surprised. I had discovered that Isaac had floated through life, was in his early 20's like myself, and finally decided that he wanted to be a Private Investigator. I loved Veronica Mars so I thought that was pretty cool. Mostly I loved, and still do, Kristen Bell who is cute as a button and I still hold a tiny crush on the bad boy, Logan, from the show. I don't usually go for bad boys, but for some reason.... I don't know. Maybe it's because I know that in real life Jason Dohring's Father is the creator of Neopets. I'm not ashamed to say that I had an account. They actually have some pretty sweet games. Anyway, later in life I dated a guy who, now that I look at Jason's IMDB page, looks a lot like him. Go me! :-D

Anyway, I digress....back to the meal. Isaac and I end up having a mildly awkward time at first, but eventually we loosened up. This was back when I was still new to this whole online dating/making friends online thing. So, after the meal, we hugged goodbye and that was all there was to it. I had absolutely zero attraction to him. His hair was long and I hate long hair on guys, he wasn't particularly unattractive or attractive... I mean, he wasn't scaring little kids or anything, but long story short, I just wasn't attracted to him. He on the other hand, blew up my phone... email... texts. I liked his personality enough, but I just wasn't that into him. Actually, not into him at all. Sadly, he was absolutely friend zoned and could not escape. I don't know what he was thinking, but I thought that I had made it very clear that it was purely platonic for me. So, I mentioned it again. He played it cool, backed off a bit claiming that he was busy so we stayed friends.  

A few weeks later we were chatting late one night and I asked what he was up to that weekend. We hadn't hung out since our meal, but as my schedule is pretty jam packed that's nothing unusual. He told me he was packing for a trip to Florida to see his Dad. I had totally forgotten about it, he had mentioned how excited he was for the trip more than once. Especially since his Dad was paying for everything. I told him I was excited for him and we started chatting about other nonsense and I forgot about it completely. Until Sunday night.

I was online goofing around and he messaged me. Nothing unusual about that, so we chatted a bit. That's when he asked me if I wanted to come to Florida with him. I was shocked and honestly didn't know what to say. About a billion things flashed through my mind; from how I had never been to Florida (Hell, I still haven't lol), to whether or not I could afford it,  if I even had enough vacation time socked away. While I was contemplating all these things, he continued to tell me about how he told his Dad about me. Since his Dad is loaded, he said that his Dad would pay the extra money to fly me down with him First Class, would cover everything for the trip, including my own hotel room if I wanted it. I was like....FREE TRIP TO FLORIDA?  FUCK YEAH!!! However, after the initial excitement of a free trip to one of my bucket list locations wore off, and he continued to go on about details, I started to think about things further.

1- He had told his Dad about me? I had told NO ONE about him, except for a few choice friends with his contact information should I disappear. I still do that to this day. Yeah, things can be faked, but it makes me feel a bit better about certain risks in my life.

2- What had he told his Dad about me? I was clearly not his girlfriend, as we hung out once and never even kissed.... HELL, we hadn't even held hands. I also made it very clear that we were just friends. However, you don't go telling your parents about your new friends... do you? I'm very close with my Dad, but I don't tell him about all the new people I meet.

3- If I let his Dad pay for my trip down to Florida, what would he/they expect in return? I barely know these guys. I was not (nor am I now) looking for a reverse rock star situation with a son-father duo. I don't know this guy nor his father very well. Going over state lines sounded like a bad idea.

4- Who has the cash to throw around for a friend to also come along when their son is visiting, and send them tickets First Class?!

5- Wait, my own hotel room if I wanted it? Was I expected to bunk with Isaac? Did he tell his Dad I'm his girlfriend?!  Is Isaac sharing a room with his Dad? What kind of hotel room would I be in? Motel 6 or The Ritz? The differences are immense and I didn't have any details.

6- The final thought was the clincher though: If something seems to good to be true, it usually is. 

So, after all 10 seconds it took me to run through these things mentally, I decided to tell Isaac that I couldn't go, but gently. I told him that he was leaving in 2 days and that I couldn't just go on vacation for a week without letting work know in advance. At least 2 weeks in advance. Unless it was an emergency, or I won a radio show trip, or something. Either way, I had too much to do and that I couldn't just leave with 2 days to prepare.

Instead of seeing my reasonable stance on last minute 1-2 week vacations out of state, he got angry! He told me what a great offer it was, and that I shouldn't pass it up. His Dad was really excited to meet me, there were no strings attached, he knew that we didn't know each other that well, but he felt like we knew each other pretty well because we talked so much, and that if the roles were reversed he would go in a heartbeat. My response was, very gently, to say that my job had a lot of responsibilities and that I couldn't just up and leave without notice. I didn't want to get fired! He said that he understood, but that it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I should take it. He also told me that the separate hotel room thing was a valid offer, and that I didn't have to do anything there that I didn't want to. Unless, I wanted to while we were there, but that would be entirely up to me.

If someone had a camera on me they would've gotten the most expressive, confused jaw drop face ever when I read that. All of my suspicions about what HE thought was going on were completely right. He thought that he could just sweep me off my feet to Florida (with his Dad's money, I might add) for vacation and somehow we would fall wildly in love while down there. Honestly, this guy had been watching too many romantic movies. I was completely stumped for a response... until I had the idea to tell him that I would ask my work the next day. He seemed satisfied with that and I told him I was going to bed.

I had no intention of asking about going to Florida at the last minute on some ridiculous romantic getaway that some guy I met off the internet had schemed up. Or, that I would never return. My body could've been dumped in a swamp after being gang raped and murdered by a father and son duo. Or worse.... there was no father, and this guy was doing some kind of twisted Psycho thing and I would end up in some creepy motel keeper's basement. No thank you any way you slice it. However, my gut didn't tell me that this guy was a psycho killer and I did like having him as a friend, so I let him down gently, blaming work and told him to enjoy his trip.

Reflection:

While he was gone we didn't talk at all, which was understandable, and when he returned we chatted a couple times. However, he was cold... short... and distant. I was sad to lose a friend, but I had a feeling that would happen. Eventually, rather than just having an honest talk, he stopped messaging me and getting on Gchat. I felt really bad, because I had somehow managed to break this poor guy's heart, and I had told him that I wanted to be friends. At no point did I remember being flirty with him, unless he took joking as flirting.... but there was no physical contact, or anything along the traditional lines. Poor guy.

I still feel bad to this day, but it's a classic story of someone developing feelings where the other person doesn't. It's life. Sometimes when I think about this whole fiasco, I wonder if I should have went down to Florida and seen what happened. Maybe it would've been fine and his romantic plans would've swept me off my feet. Then, I remember who I am, and that my gut was telling me that something wasn't right. If I had went and nothing happened, I would feel even worse than now. So in the end, to make myself feel better, I tell myself that I avoided being dumped in a swamp. Hooray for self preservation?