Foreword:
I decided to take a break from this lovely dating Tips & Tricks series to give a quick update about a text I received recently out of the blue. I have probably mentioned this before, but I never delete people from my address book/cell phone. Occasionally I will get a random text from someone and I like to avoid that awkward text where I'm asking them who the fuck they are. Occasionally, this tactic has turned things in my favor. This post is one of them, as per usual, I was bored when it happened. -S
Meat & Potatoes:
Stranger Danger (SD): Who is this?
Me: I'm S, and you text me, so that's odd and kind of rude.
SD: Well, I just got a random text from your number so I figured I'd ask.
Me: I don't have any text in my sent messages so that's odd. What did it say?
SD: It asked if I was at rock bottom yet
Me: I'm so sorry. Maybe I got some kind of virus/hack from a downloaded game or something...I'll have to root my phone and search later.
SD: I assume that meant the brewery and not the state of mind. So if you don't mind me asking, who are you anyway?
Me: Hrm, I don't know...maybe my phone bot is concerned about your well being. That's considerate of it.
SD: At least it's very nice of the programmers :-p
Me: Well, I'm assuming, because I never delete anyone from my phone and it has your first name next to a screenname/handle, that we probably met on an online dating site long enough ago that you deleted my number from your phone after one of us got bored or ran for the hills. So the answer is, no one of consequence who is just intrigued by random texts of rudeness while I sit here bored while I wait to get my team sport on.
SD: Ah ok, I was just curious. I apologize for interrupting your night.
Me: Programmers can be nice if they aren't lured to the dark side of corporate soul crushing tech support. So I can't speak to their true intentions. However, rest assured I will not ask you to verify your credit card anytime soon. :-D This is a very odd conversation, but no worries, this has been entertaining.
SD: Nice! I wish I could say I was athletic. The years of office work have taken their toll. I do go play golf and stuff. Just hard because of my awkward schedule. What else do you do?
Me: Why do you have an awkward schedule? Also, aw man...golfer's forehead. Very chic.
SD: I'm the very definition of chic.
Me: Showtime!
SD: Have fun!
Reflection:
I haven't heard from this guy since, and that was a while ago. However, I do remember this guy pretty well. If memory serves, he works 3rd shift doing something tech related. He's also a writer, had a lot in common with me, and I attempted to hang out with him only to be met with excuses and a cancellation (or two). I was over it and him pretty quickly, and had moved on from caring. It didn't really bother me because he had gotten to the point by then that he was only responding once a week or so. To me, that means that you're uninterested and probably not really looking to date.
Judging by his current conversation/response style, that seems to fit from what I remember. I thought about making an effort to make more conversation with him, after playing sports, but then decided it was probably for the best that we didn't. I think that we would get along as friends, but I don't feel like either of us are willing to put in the effort. Plus then he would probably ask me if I remembered him yet and I would have to tell the truth because I am who I am lol Just a bad idea all around and a recipe for major awkwardness. Eh, maybe I'll get bored one day and send him this link just to see what would happen :-D.
As a final thought, when you are interested in someone and get overwhelmed by life, don't completely disappear. This may be ok for friends or other people who already know and care about you but this person doesn't know you. If you start out your first impressions with a situation where you can't communicate with them, that's not a good sign. When it comes to romantic relationships, or even potential ones, make an effort to contact them within a timely manner. Even if it's just to apologize for being super busy and promising a longer response as soon as you can. Or hell, even just to say that you are super busy but you'll explain later. Tell them that you enjoy reading their replies, and ask for a funny story to cheer you up and you'll promise one in return. Something...ANYTHING. Radio silence is not your friend. Otherwise, you leave your interests and intent unknown, and that opens things up for other people to step in. It gives that person you're actually interested in a reason to start doubting your connection and a number of other things. There isn't a fine line between clingy and interested, so do not be afraid to communicate.
Next week, back to our Tips & Tricks. It's what everyone has been waiting for, crafting the perfect first message. - S
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