Foreword:
I went to Boston and I've been out of town before with the 'mobile apps' and 'locals'. Lots of people checking out your profile via locals along the way via car etc Nothing really exciting comes from it. Maybe some compliments, a few creepers asking what you’re up to. However, while in Boston I had tons of guys trolling me looking for ass. I’m self proclaimed average looking, but these guys had only one photo and it involved just a mirror shot of their chest and abs. We’re talking nothing less than an 8 pack…..I was very very flattered. The whole city was filled with nerdy-cute men, which are my Achilles heel. However, this one particular guy was funny, witty, had a like 25 pack with the cut and a nice face. He was located in Virginia but wanted to just 'chat' via text. Of course, he seemed safe from a few hundred miles away...well, I’ll just let you read what happened. - S
Meat & Potatoes:
$5 Footlong: Hey sexy. How you doing today?
Me: Hi. I’m assuming this is $5 Footlong from OKC, the shirtless one? lol
$5: Yeah. How’s your day going?
Me: Good :-) I’m getting ready to get lunch. How’s your day?
$5: Good, you’re in Boston?
Me: Yep :-) Why so surprised? lol
$5: I’m here! We should have some fun together! (<-- Pretty sure he means sex but I’ll flirt a bit, maybe I can just go dancing with him and check out the hotness in person before he rejects my sub-par ass. Ok, my ass is above par, just me as a whole is sub-par lol)
Me: Perhaps. We’re supposed to go out somewhere but I dunno where.
$5: Maybe we can meet up and dance (YESSSSSS!) I bet grinding you is fun
Me: I haven’t had any complaints ;-) Sounds like a plan. I’ll let you know when we decide :-D
$5: You don’t mind I’m a big guy?
Me: Big...penis? I’m assuming you mean your cock is 10 inches by your profile. (It had ‘10in’ as part of the screen name) I don't know, I haven't had anything that big before lol
$5: Nice
Me: You've had problems before with girls?
$5: Ya
Me: Aaaah well lol We might go karaoke instead. Also, I’m not promising to screw you :-P
*crickets*
Afterthoughts:
I am not sure if me changing the activity for the night made him think that I changed my mind, or if he thought that I was a sure thing. My innocent self thinking we could just dirty dance is usually wrong. Oh well, at least in a roundabout way it was a compliment….it means that he thought I was bangable lol That was fun for 10 minutes. I should have led him on and asked for more photos. Hindsight is 20-20. Next time lol
As an added bonus, he randomly texted me about a week after I got back seeing if I was back home. I told him I was indeed back home and he proceeded to tell me that he wishes we had danced. I agreed, and he randomly sent me a naked photo of himself. This is the facial reaction of all my friends I showed the photo => 0.0 o_o o.O o.o o_0 ^_^
Yes ladies and gentlemen, he was THAT big. Dude’s schlong was almost to the knee. There is just so much going on in this photo that you see the penis first, then the longer you look at the damn photo to figure out if it’s real the shock wears off. Then you see his amazing abs, nice face, nice hair etc There’s just a LOT going on in the photo. Why of course I will post it here with censored black boxes over the naughty bits and his face. Scroll way down to see it.
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o=========> (Lance Armstrong’s penis)
o=============> (Oh, c’mon...you had to know that I was going to do that)
Actual conversation with my guy friend who is super conservative/shy/easily blushes...we all have one, right? You take the extra times to say dirty things to them just to make them blush. Well, this is an actual conversation via text between the two of us.
S: <======3 <---Penis!
S: :-o-8-< <=8->-(-: Ignore the fact that she has no arms and he has no legs. It’s apparently disabled people having sex. Or rather, about to have sex.
C: You’ve ruined the number 8 for me forever
WINNNNNN!!!!!!!
Ok, and now the moment you’ve been waiting for……………….
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